Fear of boredom...

I'd love to write something profound with every day as I get closer to 60.  That's not going to happen for a few reasons:  

1 -  I can't possibly write everyday without it becoming a burden (bore);

2 - Without some hopefully universal significance this becomes meaningless rambling; and 

3 - My life just isn't that interesting which is not to say it isn't special and precious to me.

As I get older and continue to collect years of information building my own history, it becomes abundantly clear to me that my life is not too surprising for that of a typical member of the baby boomer generation.  I am not the statistical anomaly I always thought.  Or am I...

If I think about the span of sixty years so far I have two lists of significant memories.  One historical that is shared by most people my age at least in this country and the other personal.

Maybe for the next few entries I'll simply explore those...

Moving on...

Well Dorothy...

You're not in Carefree anymore but you are home with 15 plus inches of snow and 29 degrees as a reminder.  And now what?  All these weeks time went too slowly and too fast.  Heartwarming and heart wrenching experiences along with some idle boring days and is there a result?

Of course there are many.  I tried carefully coordinating and controlling my breakdown but it didn't work.  Apparently demons I thought were conquered years ago are alive and well and trying to wreak havoc with the rest of my life.  However the future looks hopeful.

I did venture out and about and explored real estate all over the Scottsdale area (just in case retirement is in Arizona).   I looked at everything from a beautiful "quaint" little house in the very exclusive Boulders Resort to these amazing rustic cabins built between the 20's and the 40's on leased government land in a National Forest although now I understand why some people find a need for a gun, a big dog and a truck - these places were truly in the middle of nowhere.   I also looked at another property in the community our current condo (now rented by a lovely ASU student) is.  I want to keep up with the comparables pace of the market there.  And - yug - I looked at a condo in a 55+ community that would serve better for the 85+.

I'm not sure how I feel about "senior" communities.  My aunt (in San Diego) lives in a studio apartment in one of these and I was delighted to see how really nice it was.  What I found more comforting is the network of friends she had developed in the building.  My wonderful "forever mother-in-law" (there is a story to that) lives in a similar but more sprawling senior neighborhood and she (a decidedly and truly independent woman) thrives there.  I have this sweet memory of her and my daughter, when she just began college life in a dorm the same year her grandmother moved into her new digs, comparing notes on what a drag it was collecting quarters for the laundromat down the hall.

However, the prospect of me, or my husband and I, settling into a 55+ residence seems premature even with him at 62 and me approaching 60.  Actually, I haven't seen or heard of one I would ever consider living in.  I have this terrifying image of turning into Jerry Seinfield's parents.  I dream of downsizing to a cottage or a "destination" place instead.  But thinking of where to begin getting our present home repaired, updated and ready to sell is overwhelming.

So among the many decisions to be made at this juncture is where to live and how (two small places for alternating seasons - if possible; one small inexpensive place leaving time and money to travel a bit; or, stay here and invest the monies to update, repair and maintain a home in one of the most expensive areas of the country to live and begin to truly take advantage of the area we already are.

I have to really remind myself how lucky I am (we are) to have these choices these days.