Day 282... Time

Time.  This time.  My time.  That seems to be changing now.  I noticed that through the last several years it's meaning, it's passage, it's value for me has changed - some for obvious reasons and some not and I'm not sure if the perception is unique to me.  (See ?  That's why there has to be some "go-to" places and resources for people my age.)

Obviously I have less years ahead of me than behind me but I've slowed down.  Not for any other reason than "what's the hurry?"  I used to drive fast, walk fast, read fast, talk fast and now... all that... seems a waste of time.  When I was younger, especially as a mom and most especially as a single mom there was never enough time.  Managing my child, work, household, calendar, relatives, money (or lack thereof) had a sense of urgency that, although appropriate to the needs, now seem to have passed so quickly I wonder if I should or could have taken the time to appreciate it all a bit more.

By example, 1982 doesn't seem so long ago to me and then I realize my God that was thirty years ago.  It was when I finally started to come into my own (after flailing about California and other doomed explorations and experimentations).  This past August my high school class shared a reunion with a group of graduating classes from our high school - ours was the 42nd Year Reunion = huh?  I must say that does seem eons ago.  And of course my daughter, who spent years insisting I watch her do cartwheels across every strip of green grass she happened to be on is a woman with her own life now and has slowed down (I think) on the cartwheels.

We've been living in this house for almost 20 years.  All the wonderful things we loved about it and that we did to enhance it are "old" now.  I have this image of younger people looking at it (when or if we put it up for sale) crinkling their noses as if expecting to soon smell a light scent of mothballs.  Our dishwasher is noisy, the fancy dancy Thermador double convection oven's timer and clock stopped working and they no longer make the parts for that.  One burner on the oven is out of commission for the same reason.  We just replaced our water heater and apparently it exceeded its lifespan but about ten years.  And, we have the original MayTag washer and dryer that was here when we moved in.  They are noisy, probably not energy efficient -- but they work.

How could twenty years go by so quickly.  I thought I repainted the entire interior of the house so recently... NOT.  Every room is a set of different colors and now the "in" thing are neutrals and monotones of neutrals or black details throughout a home.  Well at lease we don't have wallpaper -- but it looks like some of that may be coming back (especially CHINOISERIE).  Our bathrooms are dated... And couples our age are beginning to move out of this area.  Guess we should move on...