It's My Blog and I'll Cry If I Want To

A Sanctuary for wildlife and rest of life...

Yesterday I went on a tour of Arizona's Southwest Wildlife Organization. I had a fascinating experience of seeing and hearing the sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes funny stories of how these animals came to be at this center and what their futures held. I saw, among all: • coyotes • foxes • raccoons • Mexican gray wolves • mountain lions • javelina (very ugly) • mule deer • bobcats • bears • and the strangest little creature I've ever seen a Fennec Fox named "Gobi" It was a small tour and of all things I was the youngest participant so we moved rather slowly.

Typical stories were where people for the best and the worst of reasons "rescued, adopted, sold on the Internet" these most beautiful of creatures and soon found domestication was not really a viable option. Some of these animals would be (once healed or made healthy) returned to their natural habitat and some would remain to be cared for for the rest of their lives in this "wild" but maintainable sanctuary because they no longer could survive in their original and natural worlds.

And that's my awkward segue to what adaptability or attempts at it may bring both in success and in failure. Yesterday was also my husband 's birthday. I sent him an arrangement of flowers that included roses and iris'. The sentiment was intentional: roses for love and iris' for hope. To be completely 'cheesy' as my daughter says, my message was to say: "I hope our love gets us through this". I never imagined that after twenty years of marriage we would be where we are or better to say - where I am. What I'm surprised at is I shouldn't be surprised at all. AGAIN, a gaping need for reference, support, some well of information for "endolescents" as myself. Think about it: during our (the baby boomers) maturing years divorce rates have increased, hence remarriage's have increased and blended families now are, to say the least, not uncommon. But, if you think it through to the present, those blended families are now comprised of adult children - and adult stepchildren.

That fact brings on new issues (heretofore unforeseen by me) and precious little is out there to help someone like me navigate through what turns out to be a startling turn of events. This is the impetus for my "running" (to Carefree and maybe beyond - ugh I hear the theme of Star Trek now). I keep saying to myself and anyone who'll listen: I thought it was over. I thought we made it through and successfully so. I was about to relax and enjoy the satisfaction of seeing our grown children live their own lives independently and successfully. As a parent, as a stepparent nothing is more gratifying than seeing your now adult children be happy. And all of ours are ----- but ----- In at least one case some level of that happiness seems to be is at direct odds with the cohesive unit of my marriage. And that I don't understand but perhaps should have. Maybe and moreover, sadly, no matter what one may try to do to adapt, assimilate to, or just be a viable part of -- some things just cannot work... Not a conclusion I have come to to yet... But...