The Other Woman ?  Not quite but...

This may not or may not be posted - I'll just have to see where this goes.  One paragraph in a previous posting set off a bomb and the shrapnel from that is still being removed - not all successfully.  Knowing and seeing that,  I may just let this one blow up as it may for how much more damage can be done to something already irreparable?

I'll start here.  I've been married for twenty years this June.  My husband and I have known each other for thirty years (meeting where we both worked eons ago).  And today I can say without any hesitation I love him more than any day before.  I will always love him.  And I know he loves me.  For two people who really have little in common we both laugh and love the same way and we share the same value in "family" and people in general.  Other than that what we share in interests is nil.

 For example:  

He loves almost all sports - I on the other hand couldn't figure what on earth the clock in stadium could be timing at one of the few baseball games I've been to - an inning?  - a run?  After he stopped laughing when I asked he made me promise I would NEVER tell that to anyone.

His TV preferences other than sports are such as (including reruns, again and again) The Sopranos, Seinfield, Larry David, Jeopardy, any Godfather movie, any inspiring sports movie (based on true stories), any film Jeff Bridges, Al Pacino or Robert Dinero  is in.  I confess I watch CSPAN, any English mystery, the only real reality show: 48 Hours (NOT the N BC one), Judge Judy and ANY actual trial going on.  I've watched court TV and the like way before O.J.

Athletics, staying in shape and exercising regularly have been a key part of his daily routine forever.  He runs, bikes, spins, goes to the gym regularly, and weighs himself every day.  I do NOTHING but maybe... if its not too cold or too hot... walk.  My activities are (painting, writing, crafting, redoing something around the house, researching on the Internet (it is truly amazing what you can find more about - person, place, or thing - like peeling an onion) and the more placid activities like that.

I'm "handier" around the house than he which makes me the "go-to" person for repairs or finding the right person or service for repairs.  Then again I'm no cook unless I'm really inspired to be and that doesn't happen very often.

I read everything all of the time:  news, politics, history, biographies.  He buys books often and the binders on every one  is as new as the day it was purchased.  Do I need to say more?

My taste in music runs the gamut from country, classical, indie, old time rock and roll, blues... Actually I can only think of two types of music I DON'T like :  polkas and progressive jazz.   He likes Bruce, The Beatles and maybe a handful of classic rock bands.

He is a person of routine and order.  He is a process person.  I, on the other hand, am more the gypsy.  I'm more apt to just get up and go... And see what we find.  He needs to plan, prepare, assess and make sure whatever it is we may be embarking on doesn't disrupt any other daily ritual that may have been established and now engrained onto our calendar.  

He LOVES to talk.  He talks, to the mailman, our neighbors, the grocery clerk, another guy running - anyone and everyone anytime.  He denies this but we now know practically ALL of our neighbors on our street.  We barely knew, much less, talked to a neighbor before he retired.  I'm not good at small talk.  Unless I'm engaged in some deep esoteric and/or philosophical topic I get restless and just want to go.

Add to all that the eternal and universal differences between men and woman and I'm amazed we are a "couple" at all.  I remember someone telling us way back when (it had to be our Couples counsellor):  people are generally as much attracted to their differences as they are to their similarities which invariably may cause conflict at some times.

But with all that said we are truly happy together most of the time,  we really enjoy being with each other, we love the history we have built together.  We laugh a lot!!!  Friends and strangers like us as a couple.  Lots just love to watch us banter back and forth as we can be pretty witty and fast with each other and that seems to be very entertaining to many.  He does have a great sense of humor.

So, with all that, why are both our hearts breaking now?  Why, instead of fighting or quarreling are we crying?  Why has this time become the saddest time of our lives together?  Why are we so afraid this marriage may be dying?