A Christmas Bounty

Christmas.  On my way home now and thinking of Christmas.  On a crowded plane, packed with everyone from the truly ancient (have to be nearing ninety) folks and lots of babies --- LOTS  of babies crying.  This is certainly not a business flight telling from this population.  Family members on their way somewhere to join together for the season.  Though not yet in the spirit, looking at the expressions.  Then again there's nothing jolly about this flight.  I swear they make the seats smaller and smaller!  And Americans are getting bigger and bigger --- something going to give soon.  And it seems no matter where I'm sitting the attendants run out of the good food by the time they get to me!

I digress.  I'm about to celebrate my 59th Christmas holiday !  Wow!  I think I can remember Christmas as far back as about 5 years old, maybe younger but I don't think so.  Our trees then always had lots of tinsel shimmering and shedding.  I'd love to get my hands on some now.  That stuff really was magical (not to mention messy - but that wasn't my care then).  And I'm still waxing in my amazement at what these past few days have been.  In a future essay I will attempt to explain why seeing my aunt who has not long to live was actually healing for me.  And re-igniting a relationship with my nephew and his mom is a gift I will treasure for the rest of my days.  Of course watching my daughter be the 27 year old empowered, confident, professional young woman well on her way to her own great future fills me with a satisfaction only parents of grown children can know.

I can handle Christmas without her home now.  This is the way it's supposed to be.  Of course when she has children I'll be hoping to be on this  flight going the other way.  My step-son and his wife and our grandson (is he eight or nine now - wow) are beginning their own tradition of celebrating Christmas Eve and Day in their own home.  Our Christmas Day will be home as well with my sister-in-law and brother-in-law and my stepdaughter and her husband sharing a standing rib roast and I hope lots of wine ( for me).

So, the sweet memories of my daughter running down the hallway to see if Santa came are to be savored.  The year she got irritated with every Santa she saw because she couldn't understand why he kept on forgetting her name is something I love to remind her of.  Really Santa, busy or not -- this is your job.  I remember my brother's expression running back down the stairs after he put his eyes on what Santa gave him --- a full set of drums we all listened to for years after that.  My favorite Christmas gift when I was a child was my Barbie Kitchen - so very cool with its turkey on a rotisserie!  That was the year I confirmed for myself that Santa wasn't real since I found the kitchen weeks before playing hide and seek in the basement boiler room.  I wasn't too disappointed --- Santa or mom --- the gift was still mine.

And the first Christmas my husband and I all spent together as a blended family... The kids made out like bandits.  I think we would have bought each of them a car of their own if they weren't -- what 7 or 8 or 9 years old at the time.  My husband and I wanted to be so careful that not one of them felt slighted so we made a list and it grew and grew and grew!  At that time their concept in the value of gifts wasn't in dollars as we knew it.  So even if we spent a LOT of money on one gift in one box  but the corresponding child's value in gifts equalled 4 boxes we made up for it by adding more, and more, and more... Until we felt we spent an equal number in dollars and had an equal number of boxes for each.   That Christmas was insane!   We made sure they understood that that Christmas would never be repeated.  I don't know how we explained Santa's generosity to them that year.

And Christmas now will be relatively quiet until the 26th when our Grandson is here.  He is the light of my husband's life!  And we can reflect on this year as well as Christmas Past.  This is the year my husband became very ill twice.  This was the year I injured my back quite seriously.  This was the year one of our beloved dogs almost died.  But it is also the same year my stepson was recruited into a wonderful new job (boy did he pay his dues).  This was also the year my stepdaughter was granted a very prestigious two year fellowship (and she used to think she wasn't as smart as her brother).  And this is the year my own daughter moved to THE place she's dreamed of living in for the past few years AND found the first job of her professional career (just as she was burning out being a server no matter how much money she made in tips).  And this is the Christmas I begin to know my brother's son MY NEPHEW and my brothers widow after 15 or so years gone buy.

So, cheesy as it may sound, I'm coming home with a bounty of gifts I wouldn't exchange for anything in this world!

New beginnings?  Isn't that an oxymoron?  Every "beginning" is "new" isn't it?  Unless of course you're just starting over...  I'm really over-thinking this.  Let's just say instead that  "it's never too late."  I will be returning from my little trip to San Diego with a basket full of appreciation.  They say (whomever "they" are) that appreciation is the real key to happiness!  Like the saying "The richest person I know doesn't have a dime."

Aren't I chock full of cliches this evening?   Or just good meds!