Day 272... Family (maybe Part 2)

Step family, blended family, whatever it may be called can be wonderful and it really can be awful --- I say honestly.  I am not ready to put my own personal experiences on a forum like this but because of those I can write about the subject (the good and the bad) with a profound familiarity.

Funny, when my husband and I were preparing to get married we wanted to be so prepared.  We actually took a class on "Step Families" that was given at a local high school.  When the teacher made his opening presentation about expectations of a blended family -- we were shocked and incensed!  We were expecting a gentle guidance through the expected twists and turns of remarried parents with children.  What we got was a good hard slap in the fast.  I'll never forget that.

This "teacher" laid out a few facts on stepfamilies like:  most second marriages that bring children in do not survive.  Okay, we were not surprised with that - hey most first marriages don't last these days.  But it was the theme of the rest of that class that we were appalled at.  "Don't expect to love these kids."  "Your stepchildren will most likely hate you!"  "Your exes will sabotage your efforts every which way!"  "Be prepared for the worst and expect the least!"  He burst our bubble big time.  And, he was right! As a matter of fact I still appreciate the things he said (half of the soon to be remarried parents did not come back for any more classes but my husband and I stuck it out) and prepared us for in the following weeks.

Twenty years later I can say I love my step children in a way I had never imagined possible.  But... there were (and still are) some twists and turns that require caution and patience and love (and the thick skin).  Love of course is the easy part.  Caution and patience does run thin sometimes.  And my thick skin is a bit thinner at this age.  But that's not unique to stepfamilies.  It's just the reality that stepfamilies are held together with thinner threads so to speak. So their are special care instructions to follow.

But back to approaching 60... how wonderful it is to have three adult children (and one grandchild) so far all and each doing so well in spite of and sometimes because of all we went through together and how really hard we did work at it.

The result - the family is well worth it.  Every "family" however it is defined is worth it.