When Newsmen Cry

... or newswomen...

I've witnessed, watched and heard about many catastrophes both natural and by man in my lifetime.  There were few times I've seen professionals (e.g., reporters) react personally.  Actually, I can only think of three right now and one is too far back for me to remember personally (JFK's assassination).  But I do remember watching television during 9/11 and seeing one newswomen almost fall to her knees and cry while describing the events behind her.  And now there is the unthinkable that happened - children being shot.  Children being killed.  Babies being murdered.

The idea is so incomprehensible.  But... when my mind gets close enough to even imagine the events I can break down.  And I saw the impact of having to report on that on the faces of the people trying to do it.  I can't remember the names now but they are all so familiar to me on TV.  They have always been "talking heads" or Muppets with microphones... but yesterday they were people who couldn't (and who could?) remove themselves from the common humanity of the situation.

Wars, natural disasters, political uprisings --- we are all bombarded by all of this everyday.  We do become desensitized.  That TV screen insulates most of us from the realities.  But something about yesterday's events reached through the glass and came into our actual experiences... reminded us all powerfully of what can happen and what does happen in our world.

How can something like this though?  How can it have happened to the most innocent among us?  How could it have been perpetrated by any human being (a child himself from the picture I saw)?   What could have been going on in that family to have either produced or ignored someone who could do the unimaginable?  And, is there something someone somehow should have done to stop this?

All the cages will be rattled now (NRA, Gun Control, Mental Health, Schools' responsibility, police procedure).  We will each and all try to rationally explain what happened and how to avoid it in the future.  I am afraid there is no explanation and worse,  I'm afraid there is no answer.  No single answer anyway.

And back to the theme of all of these writings, I have lived long enough to know there aren't always answers or explanations to this life we all share.  But... I have found that in my own way, albeit a small way, I can (to some degree) make my own life have meaning and direction and comfort but --- for all those same reasons I know too that but for the grace of God (or whatever there is that is bigger than all of us) I have not experienced something like this.

I wish my hugs, my thoughts, my will could help all of the people experiencing this unbelievable pain. I know well of the feelings of helplessness BUT, and this is important, I have not experienced the feelings of hopelessness.  But I have not been tested like the people yesterday were.  And I pray that I never will.